New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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