I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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