I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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