Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize