Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
