I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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