I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
