how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize