Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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