Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
