Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
