Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?