The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow