and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!