peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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