You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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