I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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