I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
