Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
