Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
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I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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