I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What changed your mind?
Being sober
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
