I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
