Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize