He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
