Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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