Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
