Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
This toilet bowl is my home.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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