It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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