You smell like a Billy Joel song
My pussy is not your playground.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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