Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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