Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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