There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
