so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
