She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize