ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
