I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
