brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
