she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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