Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
