You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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