ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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