I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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