I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
