come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
