So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
