Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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