found the other keg... it's in the tree
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
