Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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