i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Did I show you my penis last night?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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