ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
