I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
