why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
