I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
