we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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