She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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