DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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