my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
