the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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