I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape