RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.