At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?