capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
