ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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