i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
